If you’re experiencing vaginal numbness, a lot of teachers might tell you to “buy a vibrator and just keep plugging away”.
I disagree, and here’s why:
I recently worked with a woman in her late 30s who’d never orgasmed (anorgasmia is way more common than you think).
She was advised by a therapist to get a vibrator “and just keep going”.
What happened?
For a start, she didn’t “vibe with the vibe”. It felt cheap and nasty.
The sensations felt too intense, and over time it actually desensitised her.
She felt even less than before. More numb (which made her feel like a failure). AND most importantly, this approach wasn’t tailored to her needs. It didn’t address the root causes
(in her case – shame and feeling disconnected from her body).
Female sexuality is complex!
When women work with me we look at all the different areas of her life. We create unique strategies tailored specifically to her needs. We work gently over a long period of time to create lasting shifts.
Because one size doesn’t fit all.
Quick fixes don’t work.
Oh and “just keep going” can often mean overriding your own boundaries, which does more harm than good.
