Release your shame

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Hi, I’m Mangala

I grew up in Cornwall on the land of the Celtic Dumnonii tribe, totally out in the sticks – it might look beautiful but it’s one of the poorest, rural working-class white areas in the UK. My parents’ greatest ambition for me was to leave school at 16 and go work in a bank.

(that didn’t quite turn out as they’d hoped!) 

Away from home

My escape to Manchester was wild – I loved being in the melting pot of cultures, the vibrancy and the thrill of the all-nighters, the heady days of 90s raves where everyone loved each other and folks of all backgrounds would dance together in gay clubs, squalid squats and Jamaican after-parties (sometimes all in one night). 

And so it continued for a couple of decades…. 

Fast-forward to 13 years ago

I was leading a toxic double life, working for a firm of stockbrokers by day, and by night I was a deep house and techno DJ. And my goodness I’d built up a ridiculous tolerance to partying seriously hard by then!

But deep down something felt very, very wrong.

Why?

Why was I slaving away making money for old white dudes in suits whose sole goal was to make more money for other old white dudes in suits?

Why was I poisoning myself by getting wasted every weekend? 

Why was my sex life a mess, letting men treat me like shit (including a physically abusive relationship) and a disastrous string of drunken one night stands?

Why did I hate my body?

Why did I feel so much shame?

Why was I so desperately disconnected and unfulfilled?

My wake-up call came one weekend where I’d really overdone *everything* and thought I was dying. At that moment I heard a voice in my head say “stop all this nonsense and take up yoga”.

So I did, that week – and life was never the same again.

The quest

Within a few months, I’d sold all my belongings, given away my beloved DJ gear and record collection and headed to India and Thailand for a “year out” (which ended up being 11 years), going deeper in yoga, meditation and Tantra (basically doing the same as every other white Westerner on the hippy circuit)

The turning point for me was finally realising that my body hatred and sexual shame was the root cause of my unhappiness and I spent the next six years working on my own healing journey.

I dove into every cliched spiritual circle, desperately seeking healing and meaning (and of course these were all filled with white Western seekers and teachers, all perpetuating a whole lot of problematic cultural appropriation).

The full extent of my privilege didn’t hit me until years later. I bounced around India, SE Asia, Bali etc for many years, learning spirituality from mostly white folks. I remember being at an event on my first night on Koh Phangan, Thailand, in a yoga hall full of Western, white, skinny, beautiful people, who sat around singing Indian songs and thinking this was really bizarre.

Over the years I questioned more – why were the teachers in all these circles predominantly older white Western dudes even though we were in Asia?

Why were there never any black (or even Indian) people in our yoga and neo-Tantra community?

And where were all the LGBTQIA+ folk?

I was also a bit naive and wound up in a school that claimed to teach “traditional Tantra” – it turned out to be a dodgy sex cult (with very manipulative teachings about women needing to be submissive, and also deeply homophobic and transphobic).

And in case you hadn’t guessed it – the head of the school was a white, Western, old dude, with a harem of beautiful, young, white women all desperate to heal their sexual trauma (I’m sure you get the picture)

The unlearning

It took me years to finally leave, and when I finally broke free I went through a deep process of unlearning, unpacking and reclaiming my discernment, deconditioning myself from this patriarchal, harmful dogmatic bullshit.

Training in embodiment practices and becoming trauma-informed gave me the tools to do this. When I publicly exposed my abusive guru the entire community shunned me, until years later when other women finally came forward and the story made international headlines (he’s still free and teaching, though – please choose your teachers very carefully)

Over the years I taught well over a thousand hours of Tantric yoga internationally, as well as Neo-Tantra, and yoni massage. I became fired up by the potential for pleasure as healing, and as a form of activism.

My mission became giving women and folks with vulvas tools to discover for themselves the power and confidence in their own bodies, without having to receive teachings from a dodgy white dude

(and definitely not need to have sex with him to get “initiated” into something that’s already inside them).

I spent the next 5 years in Australia, where my work flourished, training a large number of yoni massage practitioners, running countless workshops, courses and retreats and developing a thriving coaching practice. I went deeper in my personal practices – especially embodiment and Classical Tantra, becoming initiated into the Sri Vidya lineage at Devipuram, India. 

Coming home

I divorced my spiritual practices from my work, stopped calling my work Tantra and instead centred my work on giving folks the tools to find their own wisdom within their own bodies. 

(because powerful, deep work doesn’t need bells, whistles, glitter or bindis – the results speak for themselves)

As a result of this inner work, I started to feel a deep pull to return to the UK and to re-establish my roots. Something wasn’t sitting right – as I went deeper in my own anti-racism work and sat with questions of identity, lineage and cultural roots, the message got louder:

“I’m in the wrong hemisphere!

I’m on the wrong side of the world, on stolen land, in a place that could never be truly home”.

It was a cellular sense of being disconnected from something so deep and primal. And so, in the middle of the pandemic, I took the leap, moving back to the UK (a land I’d completely rejected and thought I’d left for good).

These days I’m currently located in Glastonbury, again on the land of the Celtic Dumnonii tribe.

I’m supporting clients all over the world to discover their power through connecting to their pleasure and their bodies.

I’ve worked with folks aged 18 to 71 – from scientists, company directors, actors, multi-6 figure coaches and everyone in between.

I’m teaching the next generation of Embodied Female Pleasure facilitators, talking about all the taboo things wherever I can (which is desperately needed in uptight England), and generally on a mission to change the world one mind-blowing orgasm at a time.

Of course, I’m still learning and growing – I have an amazing team of mentors supporting me as I do the work to create an anti-racist business and to hold safer spaces for trans women and gender non-conforming/non-binary clients.

The land sings under my feet as I walk the country lanes and fields and traverse the inner journey of perimenopause. Between my international Zoom calls you can normally find me visiting local sacred wells, ruins and sitting under big old English oak trees, or on the sofa with a much-needed cup of tea.

Professional Bio

Mangala is a Women’s Empowerment and Sexuality coach, and facilitator of global group programs.

She’s on a mission to help women and pussy-owners become empowered through loving themselves fiercely, celebrating their sexuality, and overcoming the fear, guilt and shame that keeps them playing small.

Having over a decade’s experience in the industry, her super power is helping female-bodied folks become deeply connected to their body, pleasure and orgasmic confidence, which is the natural birthright of everyone.

She’s currently training the next generation of Embodied Female Pleasure facilitators and places a strong emphasis on self-love, embodiment and empowerment in her work, teaching in a no-bullshit, fluff-free, grounded, dogma-free style.

Inclusivity statement

Inclusivity is a top value for me & a high priority in our company. I’m passionate about creating inclusive, safer spaces for my clients and community. Thus, I’m committed to actively working (inwardly & outwardly) to dismantle internalised systems of oppression and work towards building an anti-racist company. I fully support & advocate for BIPOC and LGBTQIA+ rights.

I work with mentors to make sure my spaces are as safe and inclusive as possible. In particular, that means ongoing anti-racism work as well as creating safer spaces for non-binary, gender non-conforming and trans folk. I understand this is lifelong work and I’m actively unpacking my internalised conditioning. If you identify as female, and/or you have a vulva, you are welcome and accepted in my community.

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